My Pen = Empowerment

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No matter how hard I try to embrace the incredible technology there is today, I always come back to good ol' fashion pen an paper.  Not sure if it is a creative thing, but I am a very tactile and visual person. I cannot just look at a screen and see the big picture. I still use a physical planner, my life and business mapped out on notepads and post-its that are spread haphazardly across my work space. My chaotic organization at it's finest. Another thing you will notice is my  hoard of pencils-- I write everything with a pencil. My handwriting isn't exactly the prettiest, and most of the time I spend a great deal trying to decipher the notes about my next idea or plan I scribbled at 3am.

2016 came to an end and so did the pages to my planner. I found a suitable replacement and January 1st, I opened my new planner-- new page, fresh start. A little cliche I know, but I held this book, not a page written but I was excited to imagine what it may be filled with in 2017.. I picked up my pencil to scribble in the first tidbits of awesomeness and I paused. Before I could even put pencil to paper, I asked myself do I use pencils?

What? Am I really pondering this at 2am on a Thursday? A little self doubt in the sanity department Ashley? Hm.  Why do I use a pencil?

I am the first to admit that I am a creative control freak. 

So I write with a pencil... because what if I mess up?

Easy. I just erase it. Eh, I am not committed to anything there! I don't have to write with certainty because 2 swipes with an eraser and the nonsense is gone. Proof of a silly idea disappears!

No big deal right?

So for 2017 I have this new gorgeous and colorful planner, and the aesthetics junkie in my cannot bear to write my great plans for the year in boring old pencil. Hell, I broke out the washi tape  and have spent more time than I would like to admit to, making the book that will be the heart of my business, beautiful and inspiring. 

Time to bust out the arsenal of colorful pens. I take out the cute teal gel pen. excited to write down my first plan as beautifully as the vision itself... only to stop.  I legitimately thought to myself-- What if I mess up? What if it's too messy? what if I make a mistake? what if I change my mind? What if--

Seriously Ashley?

Yes, Seriously. 3am and I have turned the topic of a writing utensil into a moment of self reflection.

Pencils are the easy way out. You don't have to commit. You do not have to own it. You can make the changes without having to own up to it or have others notice.

Pens make you write with conviction. And if you mess up? You have to make a choice on how to deal with it, and either way, it is there, to own and be noticed.  When the potential of your mistakes are there staring you in the face, it forces you to think things out more before taking action.  Pen is a commitment-- mean what you say and say what you mean kinda thing.

So this year, I am forcing myself to write with a pen. 

I will write my goals in pen. I will write my goals with intent and conviction.

I will write my plans in pen. I will write my plan with intent and conviction.

I will write my future in pen. I will write my future with intent and conviction. 

 

Oy. Who knew a pen could be a tool of empowerment?